Need a Fix

May 6, 2009

Dear baby boy:

Come to grandma. I know I just laid eyes, and a kiss or two, upon you Saturday. It was heavenly to get a smile and a smooch from you. Ok, maybe you are really not kissing me, but I will continue on with my grand illusions. However, I miss you.

Until you arrived, I had no idea what it would mean emotionally to have a grandchild. Physically, I knew what I wanted it to be...shopping, kisses, hugs, toys, and so forth. Emotionally, not a clue. I read once before you were here, that having a grandchild is like falling in love with your children, all over again, and that it can't really be explained. That it must be felt. That thought is so true. To try to put into words how much I love you...I can't. Neither can your grandpa. We just simply "love you." I Weadore being a grandma and grandpa and feel blessed to get to share your life.

You must be excited to know that your mama is having her first Mother's Day. I'm happyfor her also. When your mama was born it was the day before Mother's Day. So, on Mother's day, when I awoke, my first thought was, "It's Mother's Day and I am a mama." I was so thrilled that at 5:00 in the am, I got out of bed and walked down the hallway to the nursery to see your mama. Of course, it took me forever to get there and I was scolded by the nurses for venturing out without assistance, but I had to see your mama. She was so cute!

As your mama was expecting you, I knew she would be in for so much joy. Every day that goes by I know how much she cherishes you, and how deeper her love grows, and how much joy you bring to her life. I know this because that is how I feel about my children also, not matter how old they are.

I will always keep all the Mother's Days that came after my first in my memories to be taken out and treasured. However, that first one is something that I will always cherish. To think that God gave me a baby to love and watch over was a wonderful gift. Often we think of Mother's Day as a day to honor moms. Sometimes I think it should be a day that mamas express gratitude for being allowed the honor of having children. I can only imagine how excited your mama is to experience her first Mother's Day. (Don't worry. I'm sure your daddy found something special for your mama. Grandma's just afraid your mama's birthday and mother's day present won't arrive on time.)

Happy 1st Mother's Day, Amy. And happy memory day for me as each Mother's Day, I pull out that memory.

Grandma will see you on Mother's Day and sneak in a little cuddle time. I need a serious baby fix. Perhaps I will take a day off soon and come to your house and spend the day with you. Hmm. 8 hours of a baby fix. Sigh