Friday, September 4, 2009
Looking Back On the First Year: Tears and Laughter
I got up early this morning so that I could post a message to my daughter, Amy, her son Mason and my youngest daughter, Jana. I must start by saying how proud I am of all three of you. Each of you have overcome a year filled with so much stress and trials.
Amy: Your amaze me. This year you have been put through so much. I will never forget that day that Mason was born. While this is something that you often hear moms and dads say, mamas of daughters who give birth are entitled to say this also. No matter what anyone would have told me, I never could have understood the emotions that poured through me the day you were in labor: happiness (that I was going to be a grandmother), happiness that you were going to experience the joys that I have had the privilege to have, and yet fear was there also. My oldest baby girl was going through something stressful and painful and I could not take it away nor help. I so badly wanted to be in that room, not during the birth, but just encouraging you. But, I know that it is your wonderful husband's job and privilege to do that. My feelings are one of those "mom things."
I could write page after page of how proud of you I am, what a great mom you are: a fighter for your baby, tender, compassionate and such. However, you know how I feel. I love you.
You are blessed with a wonderful, caring husband. It never fails to amaze me how much he loves you and that little boy. Your son is lucky to have a daddy that adores him and cares about his well being as much as his mama. Sometimes that doesn't happen in life. I love you.
Jana: You astound me. This year has been packed full of many emotions and trails for you. The birth of your first nephew. I remember how excited you were to become an aunt. That little boy adores you. He can tell how much you love him. He just beams when you walk into the room. While I often tease you (and I am teasing you) to stay away, it pleases me to see how much joy your bring to him. I have this feeling that two of you will be amazing buddies as he grows.
Your first year of teaching was filled with so much stress. Leaving Mason and Amy that day in August must of been so difficult for you. Not having a place that was ready to move into was difficult for you, I know. Daddy and I felt terrible that we could not help you. You were wonderfully understanding, as you knew how important it was to be here for Amy and Matt. Your first week of PD days and school were so difficult due to Mason's struggles, and your wanting to be there to help your big sister. Amy (and we) know where your heart was the first 6 weeks of his life, even though you were not able to be here. First year teaching, while you are so good at it, is difficult. The joy and excitement you felt was evident.
I am so proud of you. You are an amazing teacher. While I am not a teacher myself, I see them every day and understand the joys and struggles they endure on a daily basis. You have overcame a difficult first year. Your post on your blog regarding your first year made me cry and made me proud. If there was anyone who was created to teach children with needs, it is you. Your sense of humor will carry you far in this field. Your love and determination for these kids will really make a difference. Perhaps you will not see it now, but these kids will remember you many years from now. You are simply put: fantastic. I love you.
Mason: Wow. Sometimes just thinking of you makes me teary. Last time I spent the day watching you, as I was simply holding you on my lack and kissing your little head, all the emotions I had this year for your safety and well being, my love, just came pouring out. Sorry grandma cried like a baby while I held you. Your little face looking at me while I cried was so sweet: I know you were thinking, "hTis lady is crazy." Yet you just smiled at me, a bit in puzzlement. Then off my lap you went, bringing me a book to read, as if you were telling me, "buck it up lady. I'm fine." I am just so thankful to have you in my life. All I am going to say to you are two things: I love you and you are blessed to have great parents.
Well, Grandma has to go. I'm on my way to see you. 9 hours of having you all to myself. Mmmm. Pure heaven coming up in one hour.
Off to get my baby fix.