Am I at the Golden Age Now?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How do you know when you are old, also known as the "golden years?" Is it when a certain age strikes? Are the numbers 50 the ones that proclaim you into "old" person status. Maybe old is defined by another number such as 59 1/2, or 63. After all, isn't that the age you must become in order to withdraw funds from your IRA/401K or perhaps receive Social Security benefits?

Is old defined by a child younger than the age of 15, who looks at you and takes great delight in saying, "You are as old as my grandmother." WHAT, little kid? I am as old as some of the moms who still have kids in high school, buddy, and MY kids are in their twenties. I would love to responded, "Maybe YOUR mom is old, rugrat, I am not." But, that is not nice, is it?

Could it be when you look into your magic mirror, only to discover it is not magical anymore, as a wrinkle appears? A WRINKLE? No that is not a wrinkle. No, surely the mirror has a crack. Would you know you are old when your foundation seeps into the little, bitty lines on your face and stays cemented into them. as if it is glue, holding your face together. Are you old when you smile and your eyes get those "character" creases?

Are you consider old when you are a grandmother? Is that the status one must achieve to be declared old? I have decided that I am not old. No sir, not old at all. I am just entering my Golden Years. Yep. I think of the Golden years as not those which occur after your retirement, but those that happen during the time span where you children move away and you get the joy of becoming a grandparent. Yep indeed. These will be the Golden Years of my life. The years I will be able to bend my knees and crawl around on the floor (let along get up). The time that I will be able to afford to take my darling grandchildren (I'm sure there will be more) shopping and out to eat frequently. The years I can buy them all sort of things that make noise, take up precious space in their home, buy them things I know their parents are procrastinating about and drive their parents nuts with the years of hearing their darling offspring cry, "I want to go to Grandma Sherry's house." "She LOOOOVVVVVEEESSSS me the best" they will declare in a great big, dramatic voice.

Yes, please sign me up for the Golden Age. I"ll wait and declare myself older when I can't get up off the floor after chasing a crawling baby.